bEGOne

Now this man Moses was exceedingly humble, more so than any person on the face of the earth.

– Bamidbar 12:3

I want to destroy my Ego. When I am in the middle of Shemonei Esre and a guy walks by singing. Hey idiot! Are you aware that you aren’t the only person that exists? Are you aware that MAAAYBE the people trying to focusing on prayer don’t want to hear you sing randomly? Can you just shut up for 5 minutes? Wow that felt good to get that off my chest. The only problem is that while I was completely involved with putting this individual in his place in my head, I was “reading” through 3 or 4 blessings of my Shemonei Esre. So now what? Not only was nothing accomplished via my prayer or my putting a person in their place, but this entire situation hasegowritten all over it.

Having a big ego seems to be the worst thing in the world, especially when it comes to following the Torah. We zealously attack others and all for the sake of Hashem and his Torah.

Rabbi Wolf @ Maayon Yisroel in Los Angeles recently said during his weekly Parsha shuir that when a person attacks someone in a simailar maaner to above for the “sake of Hashem” it comes from the person’s Ego.

Did Hashem ask you to yell at this person for speak in shul?

This was his question on during the shuir, and how try it is.

The ego is not to be destroyed. It, too, is a creation of G-d – and all that He made, He made for His glory.

Only this: that the ego must know that it is a creation, and that all He made, He made for His glory.

Still I struggle so hard with my Ego. Its mine after all, all mine.

Especially during davening, it is said in the name of the Baal Shem Tov that when a person talks near you when you are davening (he goes even to the point that a unrefined goy), that the Shechinah actually comes down into this individual’s throat to help you elevate your davening and when you are able to push out the distraction you raise up a level.

I really need to work on this refinement. I hope to post my progress.

Refinement of Ego

Listen to others, and internalize their ideas and opinions. Thank them for sharing. Do not engage individuals in pointless circular debates.

Thank Hashem for bringing this individual during your prayers to obnoxiously shake the tzedakah pushka as he collects from around the room in the name of a teaching of the Baal Shem Tov. This is the only way to elevate your davening.

Control the tone of your voice, which seems to come off as flippant when talking about things you don’t agree with.

PLEASE Hashem give me the strength.

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